I am growing deafer & deafer. It is hard for me to hear people -- even when they are speaking directly to me.
But I realize I am in an ideal situation: I listen to dead people & talk to people who aren’t there.
I truly listen to dead people. I hear them talking and I never have trouble hearing what they say. And if they bore me, I skim, or just put them, the book, away.
I have a great time with dead people -- or people who are still alive but write their words down. I am an avid reader. I want to hear from the world out there. But I can’t hear well, so I listen to dead people.
And I talk to people who are not in the same room as I am -- I talk passionately to all of you. You can hear me clearly -- and you are unable to interrupt me.
I must admit that such a situation is wonderful. I really am not good at developing my thoughts in a back & forth discussion. I hear what others say, dig into my mind, find something I can contribute to the conversation and then we move on.
I need time to figure out what I think. I simply am a lousy talker. One musician said I play an instrument because I don’t want to talk. I write radio talks because I am no good at talking -- at thinking on the fly, being witty on the spur of the moment.
I listen to dead people, talk to people who are not there. Of course my social life sucks and I am far from totally pleased. I used to love to draw people out, hear what they had to say, how their lives had developed -- and I asked them what they were currently passionate about.
But I don’t ask any more. If I ask, they answer, I can’t hear, and I find myself in the midst of an embarrassing situation. Could you say that again please? I say. I am sorry, but I’m not sure I heard correctly. Did you say. -- and then I explain what I think I heard, which is almost always a garbled mess, an almost total misunderstanding.
I love to listen to dead people, to people who have written words down. I never have trouble hearing what they say. I may have trouble understanding, but it is so easy to pause, to back up, to read again. I love the printed word.
And I also love to talk to people who are not there -- you listeners, the silent many whose silence is filled with my words as I struggle hard to formulate my thoughts.